Gods, this is grand. Utterly romantic without stooping to cliches and needless melodrama. The changes in voice are so affecting! Yes, we get a share of both of them, but we really only hear Severus's voice. It makes us side with him, knowing what he wants, and it makes us want for him to get what he wants.
I thought: I could love a woman like this. Love this line! Not for me was this, but my bedroom was quiet and the sounds from downstairs were far more beguiling than the book that stayed open on my lap, forgotten. Beguiling, eh?
I can admit that when she came for the interview, something within me warmed to her passionate, easy smiles. But five years are five years, and I had dismissed the thoughts of her almost as soon as she’d left the interview. I can picture this happening so clearly with how you've written these two. They're all fits and starts, aren't they? Feels like they're beginning something, and then both retreat.
That night I stood by the window across from the bed and watched the figure of a woman standing near the very edge of the cliff. Her long, tussled hair whipped around her body; she did not attempt to restrain it. I read this line, and I see Waterhouse's Miranda, standing at the ocean, watching the ship sink. Were you thinking of this, too?
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Date: 2016-08-30 09:54 pm (UTC)I thought: I could love a woman like this. Love this line!
Not for me was this, but my bedroom was quiet and the sounds from downstairs were far more beguiling than the book that stayed open on my lap, forgotten. Beguiling, eh?
I can admit that when she came for the interview, something within me warmed to her passionate, easy smiles. But five years are five years, and I had dismissed the thoughts of her almost as soon as she’d left the interview. I can picture this happening so clearly with how you've written these two. They're all fits and starts, aren't they? Feels like they're beginning something, and then both retreat.
That night I stood by the window across from the bed and watched the figure of a woman standing near the very edge of the cliff. Her long, tussled hair whipped around her body; she did not attempt to restrain it. I read this line, and I see Waterhouse's Miranda, standing at the ocean, watching the ship sink. Were you thinking of this, too?
YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN, GIRL!